Disappointment- Freedom comes at a cost.
As an artist I set high standards for myself and my work. I create because I have to; it is a drive to express, to make things that are beautiful and to exercise the creative soul.
Now it is true that I am no model or art work myself, or life could be much easier. I understand why many of my favourite photogrpahers started their work based on self portraits. It is much easier not to disappoint yourself than to have others let you down.
When I say disappoint what I mean is that my expectations of others and their behaviour does not match my expectations or vision. This of course becomes my problem as it is my perspective.
So what do I get disappointed at, you may well ask? Good question! Well to create the beauty and fine art images I enjoy I need to collaborate with others. The nature of this activity is inherantly risky and means putting ones self out there to failure and disappointment. But without this risk nothing can be acheived.
As an artist/photogrpaher I see alot, read alot and do alot of work in this industry to find many areas where my vision and others reality does not align.
This frustration is often about what I would call word and deed. As human beings all we have in life and relationships is our word or promises to others. If I agree to shoot on a day and time then I do. If I agree to a concept I deliver, if I work with others I communicate and follow through as a professional.
Am I asking too much to expect others to do the same? I find myself often thinking to withdraw from this world and focus on new ways to express my creativity. Why? becuase of others letting me down, not following through, being un-professional and not ensuring that they commit to collaborative work with the same professionalsim as I do.
As an artist I choose not to charge for my creative work and give of my time, studio and talents to create beauty. If someone offers their skill and knowledge for free is it not of equal or greater value than if you charge? It appears that if it is too cheap that some people do not value the work, rather they think it does not matter.
Long ago as an artist I made the decision to stop making money from my art and give myself the freedom to choose what I do and when I do it. Freedom comes from the ability to choose rather than need to make money.
I have worked with many professional and committed people, but all too often they are fewer and further between.
